It’s been a bit…

Welp, it has been a few days since I last wrote.. like 3 years ago.. 365 days x 3+ =.. alot..!! Anywho..whatever.. I failed math..my teachers all liked me thank God .. I seriously have NO IDEA how I graduated.. no, wait.. they liked me…my math professor in college asked.. “arent you going to be a nurse???.. heck, you won’t need math..I changed your D to a C.. ” whew.. so..nope..I’m not a nurse..that was a midlife idea that started when I was 5.. but growing up surrounded by hairstylists, it was inevitable.. none of my animals had whiskers, all my friends had janky bangs, and all my barbie dolls had crew cuts.. fast forward .. I mean, really fast forward..to a 40ish middle aged mama of 3+ teenagers and a full time job behind the chair.. burn-out… yes, burn out.. I think I was more tired than burned out, because I never really pursued a second career as a nurse.. infact, I bailed when my mom got terminally Ill and with my 3 siblings, we together became mama’s nurse. Why am I telling you all this?? I have no idea.. just seemed like a proper way to re-boot.. re-start..and re group my thoughts..sooooo….I dont even work any more..I mean, I DO work..here, in the house.. laundry, dishes, stuff like that, and an occasional client that still has me do their hair.. I stay busy with grandkids and crafting, taking care of my animals and a stray pig..

yes, I said STRAY pig.

His name is Izzy Winks..I have no idea why his name is I.W. ??? .. my 5 year old grandaughter thought of it.. and it stuck..she tags “winks” on everything she names lately.. my desire is to be a famous writer, blogger, Instagram personality, but I’m just sitting over here wondering how to do all this techy stuff as my robot vacumme does my floors.. I DO know how to vacumme, but hey, she does a pretty dern good job, .. so I bought another.. haha..true story.. I call them ebony and ivory..

why am I telling you this?????I’m supposed to be telling you about my life, my story, things that inspire me,ummm..well, they , ebony and ivory inspire me..as does IZZY Winks..he inspires me to beg all my friends, grocery clerks, restraunt staff etc..to save all their scraps and left overs because he EATS ALOT! ..dear Lord I’m off track …yall feel me?? yall gettin this?? Whatever..I’m officially signing off for a few..hopefully NOT another 3+ years.. ok.. I feel better now..(dusting hands) I blogged..I BLOGGED!!!..so I am a blogger..midnight jogger.. no, not really.. I don’t run ..unless an alligator is chasing me.. yes, that is a true story.. follow me on Instagram “heatheredandlaced” and you may hear about it …or you may not..your choice.. up to you.. ok, goodbye..going to fold the uneneding mound of laundry on my bed so I can feel a little more accomplished today . Its rainy outside, its monday..I’m tired, my back hurts..I lost my grandaughter at church yesterday and it mentally wore me out..(she was hiding under the playset in the nursery)..yeah..I should make the bed..goodbye.. I love you..wait..do i?? oh whatever..random rant..enough said.. done..

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Final curtain call

Was very very tired today.. I went to take a nap and every time I dozed off, I was awakened with the heart pounding thought that my son is dead…images of his face and the thought of never hearing his voice again…maybe because it’s veterans day and I had been looking at his pictures… made me miss him so much today…I still cannot believe he died… I cannot get my mind around it some days…. some days I am ok… I know he is with Jesus, but the mom part of me is freaked out some days…the dreams.. the pictures…sometimes I just wish I could blink and none of it had happened, but… though I am not glad it happened , I am thankful… it has allowed me to see life in a completely different perspective. ..my sons death has made me think of my own mortality and the flimsiness and temporary aspect of this life here on earth… like a board game .. racing to the finish line… a giant stage set waiting for that final curtain call…it has helped shape me and mold me into a different person… I look in the mirror and I see someone totally different than I did nearly 2 years ago..I see more wrinkles, more stress lines, more gray hairs, more body weight, but most importantly I see a person broken, a person shattered and rebuilt by God’s hand, by God’s grace… a person who is prepared to meet God.. to meet death head on and not be afraid of it… I see a person that loves deeper and forgives easier…. Roger M. Highcove Jr.

The very near distance of 2016

365 days ago we were all sitting here saying the same thing.. “wow! Another year come and gone…” every year since I can remember, I always wondered what the new year would hold, who would be here next year and who wouldn’t. .. Time…. crazy when you really sit and think about ‘time’…. we are all given the exact amount of time in each day we live … I pray I use my time allotted wisely… I hope I make a difference in the lives of those around me. I know I am guilty of wasting time… tic… tic… tic… 3 Seconds just came and went as you read that… crazy huh? Never to be regained…tic.. tic.. tic… 3 more… think about it.. how much time do we waste on stupid useless stuff… if I were born a man, I would save so much time getting  ready to go ANYWHERE… seriously.. makeup alone takes a good 20 min.. 30 if I’m going  somewhere nice… hair… another 20 min unless I do my usual hair band and clip thing… I usually waste time daydreaming, … I guess it could be  worse… my mind never stops… I promise I think I have adult attention deficit disorder.. back to time… how precious time really is… I look back on my life, all 51 years of it… mostly I recall the years of young adulthood, early years of my marriage, and raising our children…years ago after a long day of chasing 2 girl preschoolers and a boy toddler, my mother in law told me one day I will blink and they would be all grown up… being a worn out 29 yr old, I could’nt see past diapers, bottles, roy trains and barbies on the floor in the middle of the night… fast forward to tonight…. she was so right… they are all grown up and the youngest died nearly 2 years ago Jan. 27th… time was as a vapor ..just like the Bible warns…poof.. gone… I spend many days now with my young grandchildren.. what? How did i get to be a grandma this fast???? Oh , how right my mother in law was..fireworks off in the near distance boom and I can’t help but hope the sound of time will be as loud in my ears this upcoming year… I hope I stop and breathe when life gets so jumbled up and I feel overwhelmed.. I hope I take time to notice .. to notice from a real time view and not from the lense of my camera… I hope I take time to listen.. to listen to the still quiet voice of the Lord, to listen to the jibber jabber of the lititles underfoot when they make zero sense … I hope I take time to touch more.. to hug more.. to openly love more.. to find something good in people, to shut my mouth when I waste time saying ugly things about or to people. I hope I make the most of this year… I hope I make a difference in not only others lives, but in my own life.. I can be my own worst enemy.. I want to live with few regrets… none if I can help it… dec. 31st 2015, I sat just as I am tonight wondering what the year would hold… it held a lot that year… too much… 27 days later my beloved last born child was killed as many of you know… the rest of that year was a wash really.. mostly a blur…who knows what this year may have in store..I hope with all that I am that I will be a better version of me this year than I was in 2016… Happy New year~☆☆☆

Almost sad…..

Tonight as I sit here alone enjoying the tranquil and peaceful stillness, I realize how special Christmas time really is… this year, and only this year, has it become so clear to me just how special it is… I have always enjoyed christmas… but in years past, I got caught up in the hustle bustle of it all.. the excitement of giving and buying presents, decorating, cooking, and family time… all wonderful things, but this year I almost slipped into sadness… sadness that those whom I hold so dear to me are no longer here…. as Christmas music played in the stores I fought back tears many times remembering Christmas’ in days gone by… The Lord himself tugged on my heart to realize the true meaning of Christmas this year… it’s not about the gifts, but of HIS gift.. about him… about his death and why he was even born… it’s not about who isn’t here but that He will never leave me nor forsake me.. he is faithful and true… it isn’t about holiday food or the preperation of it, but about his word, the bread of life..in the glow of the christmas lights that remind me of the light of the world, and as old fashioned christmas hymns play softly on my radio, tonight I will reflect on what Christmas really means… I am thankful for his birth, but more thankful he chose to come here to earth in the first place.. to leave his heavenly home on high, to confine himself into a few cells that became THE baby in the manger… to lay down HIS life for mine…. Merry Christmas♡

Light brown M&M’s and Christmas time…. — heatherhighcove’s Blog

You may have read the title of this blog and wondered what do light brown M&M”s have to do with christmas???.. well, nothing really..they no longer make them.. they’ve been replaced by the blue ones now..? The camel colored ones were my childhood favorite…each time I got a new bag, I would secretivly pick out […]

via Light brown M&M’s and Christmas time…. — heatherhighcove’s Blog

Light brown M&M’s and Christmas time….

You may have read the title of this blog and wondered what do  light brown M&M”s have to do with christmas???.. well, nothing really..they no longer make them.. they’ve been replaced by the blue ones now..? The camel colored ones were my childhood favorite…each time I got a new bag, I would secretivly pick out all the light brown ones so no one would eat them.. in fact, until my will power could hold out no longer I just kept them either in my pocket or in the empty bag hidden away… They reminded me of my Mom…of her beautiful soft kind eyes… yes, my mom”s eyes… they were beautiful.. I adored her.. well, the light brown M&M”s are gone forever and so is my Mom… she lost her battle to leukemia just a little over 2 years ago…and.. it’s Christmas time, so I suppose that’s the corrolation of the tiny chocolate candies and christmas… my mom loved christmas… she was very poor as a child, one of the older of ten siblings… she never had toys… she never had a doll of her own , a bike, nothing.. so when she grew up and could afford toys, she bought toys!!! And more toys.. and more toys.. she even made toys… I have several she made for my kids… dolls, stuffed rabbits, boats, doll houses, etc… she was a true kid at heart… I sure miss her this year… this is the third Christmas without her here… I never thought I would be able to enjoy the holidays without her here.. just weeks before she died, I told her how sad Christmas would be without her and how it would be so hard for me to “drag out” all my decorations that reminded me so of her..  (the running joke between us was “I ain’t dragging all that stuff out this year!).. well, we always did and then some.. she loved the lights..  she told me that I would miss her, but to cherish the memories and to decorate.. to decorate and enjoy the Christmas season and remember  what it’s about… to enjoy my kids and grandkids… well, little did we know, but only10 short moths after her tragic death my son was killed. .. I couldn’t even miss her as much as I needed too last year… I was so numb… I still can’t believe all that happened..  anyhow, that’s another blog for another night… feeling meloncholy and can’t go there tonight… so, yep, light brown M& M’s… mama’s soft brown eyes and christmas time… I adore and adored them all.. ♡oh, trains… she LOVED trains!!!! P.s.  I decorated in her honor this year… more than I ever have..

What Christmas means to me….

Tonight as I sit here alone enjoying the tranquil and peaceful stillness, I realize how special Christmas time really is… this year, and only this year has it become so clear to me just how special it is… I have always enjoyed christmas… but in years past, I got caught up in the hustle bustle of it all.. the excitement of giving and buying presents, decorating, cooking, and family time… all wonderful things, but this year I almost slipped into sadness… sadness that those whom I hold so dear to me are no longer here…. as Christmas music played in the stores I fought back tears many times remembering Christmas’ in days gone by… The Lord himself tugged on my heart to realize the true meaning of Christmas this year… it’s not about the gifts, but of HIS gift.. about him… about his death and why he was even born… it’s not about who isn’t here but that He will never leave me nor forsake me.. he is faithful and true… it isn’t about holiday food or the preperation of it, but about his word, the bread of life..in the glow of the christmas lights that remind me of the light of the world, and as old fashioned christmas hymns play softly on my radio, tonight I will reflect on what Christmas really means… I am thankful for his birth, but more thankful he chose to come here to earth in the first place.. to leave his heavenly home on high, to confine himself into a few cells that became THE baby in the manger… to lay down HIS life for mine…. Merry Christmas♡